Transitions

Changes, they happen all the time.  And sometimes they happen before you know it.  Like kids growing up...  You think you are stuck in a certain stage, then you look up a few weeks later, and there you are - out of that stage into another.  What happened?  Thinking of this helps me remember to enjoy where we are.  Even if that stage is saying "NO" to everything.  Refusing to listen.  Kicking and screaming on the floor.  Just to name a few...
In those moments, it is hard to think this way - that they are so young and won't be this way forever (thank goodness, right?)  To treasure every moment.

I was thinking this morning, that really I just live in transitions all the time.  My life is change.  And change is expensive!  And change is fun (for me at least)!  I'm one of those that rearrange furniture and drawers just for fun (which is a frustrating adventure for my husband when he comes home).  Change definitely makes things interesting and keeps things exciting.  I think it really keeps my energy up!

Sometimes you just can't help that the transition happens - and the cost that comes with it.  Seasons change along with the size of kids.  And we all hope that these happen about the same time!  Because with each growth, with each weather change - here comes new clothes.  And as each stage in life comes - it seems that there is cost in spending for new needs - and especially the little years - for trial and error.

One of the ones that got me REALLY bad was the sippy cup.  I bought about 10 different kinds until one was finally accepted.  And now comes the potty training.  And there are seats, stools, chairs, charts, and "wearable" items that have to be accepted.  And these items have to have a little power - the power to entice a VERY opinionated child to WANT to use them.  Back with the sippy cup - it was kind of not really a choice.  Yeah I had to find one that she like, but this is totally different.  This has to help her DO something.  Something important.

Changes happen too, in the form of milestones.  There are the big ones - first words, first steps.  But there are those little missed milestones.  Like the first time they count to ten by themselves.  When they start using a big girl chair.  Those moments where they become independent - getting their own milk from the fridge.  Being kind and helpful, especially with each other.  Imitating mommy when I'm doing housework (and understanding what I'm doing).

There is so much that happens in a day that I want to remember.  The sweet moments - the milestones of all the little things that I'm probably going to forget.  They are so important and major, but slip by most of the time.  And that's the transitions.  That's growing up.

Christmas Creating

       Christmas Bows!  

Christmas Dresses! 

And a race track... 

Groundhog Toe

My running shoes are taunting me.  They sit there at the bottom of the closet, looking all new and fun and shiny.  I got new running shoes about 2 weeks before I broke my toe.  And only got to run in them a handful of times before the unfortunate toe breakage incident of September.  My shoes are still in that new phase, needing to be broken in JUST right, but still so very comfortable, light and exciting to run in.  New running shoes make me feel lighter when I run, especially these.  And with fresh cushioning, I seem to run faster and longer (probably not, but it feels like it).  All that lightness and cushion might have helped my toe not get broken in the first place.

I do love running.  I so miss it right now.  Being not that graceful (I did trip into a baby bouncer and break my toe in 3 places), it feels good to move rhythmically when running.  I like being active, but sports have never really worked for me.  I seem to not be coordinated enough to use any type of equipment in sports.  Running is just me and my feet on the ground - so it's the sport for me.  Although, right now is seems that I'm not coordinated to walk!!  (re: the toe breakage and now the limping) 

When I went to the doctor 6 weeks ago, I was thinking that maybe the toe was just bruised really bad, or maybe a hairline fracture.  But after the X-ray, the doctor was actually quite surprised to see just HOW broken it was.  He said that I needed to stay in the boot for a while (that a friend had so sweetly given me).  And to come back in 6 weeks for a re-check and X-ray.  So the weeks progressed.  For the first few weeks, I was in the boot most of the time - for protection, for walking, and for the pain.  It really did hurt worse than I thought a baby toe could hurt.  Then at about 4 weeks of healing, it started feeling lots better!  I could actually walk - sometimes wearing flip flops - I couldn't wear actual shoes yet...  And would still wear the boot as needed - or if I needed real shoes!  One real shoe, one boot!  I wore the boot less and less!  I was almost healed.... Right?  

At my 6 week re-check, I was hopeful that I was healed or at least almost healed.  But after removing the "buddy tape" (which I had on the whole 6 weeks) I saw the swelling and the bruising.  Yeah.  I knew that X-ray was going to come back showing something.  And indeed, it's STILL broken.  Of the three baby toe bones (er, tarsals), the top one is chipped, and the middle one is still cracked down the middle - into the joint.  And he said that I will have arthritis because of this.  A memory of this injury?  To remember to SLOW down?  Yay?  

So he told me 3 more weeks of healing.  No running.  Still.  I had been counting down the days, but I will not break doctor's orders.  I'm not going to risk it.  And after that doctor's visit, my toe was hurting more.  I don't know if it was from the prodding or the X-ray "maneuvers" or just the power of suggestion.  But I was back in the boot.  

I am thankful that it is healing correctly - as in the right place.  No other measures for healing, except time, are needed.  So I wait...  

Going to the doctor was kind of like Groundhog Day.  I was hoping that he was not going to see a shadow (on the X-ray).  But he did see something.  And now we have a few more weeks of healing.  

Moments

I think like used to feel more like stages. Goals to achieve. Places to get to. Things to accomplish. When you are a teenager, it's about getting to college and having friends and maybe even a boyfriend along the way. Oh and getting good grades, too, I guess. 

So then finally you graduate and head off to college. It feels new and different. A new stage in life. But kind of the same thing. Working towards a goal - that mystery job after college. You live in the excitement of the mystery of what life holds for your future. Dreams seem to be bigger than the college campus can hold. Then after college, hopefully here comes a career - maybe even a husband...then kids. But that's when the stages of life really aren't that clear. But that's what real life is about. It's not getting somewhere. It's being where you are. 

It's not getting to the next stage, but living in the moments.  I used to live in one stage of life, looking toward the next, pretty much all the time. It's not a great place to be. It's full of restlessness and really kind of exhausting. Always working toward something, and that something...you really don't know what it is.  I was happy - mostly, but it just felt like there was always somewhere else to be. Something I needed to do. I was longing for a family - and I think the grief in that probably affected my ability to be still. 

Now, with kids - a full and lively family, even in the chaos, there is a peace in me.  It really makes no sense, but I feel the longings of the past fading away.  But for so long I was pushing forward. It's taken a lot to just slow down the momentum. With the kids, I can definitely see the stages of growth in my kids. And I don't want those to rush on by. So the best way I know how to do this is to just savor the moments. 

Cuddling with my girls on the couch. Drawing and cutting out hearts with my oldest, while the other two nap. Giggling on the floor with the baby. 

It's things I would have missed, I think, if I hadn't slowed down a little and just realized there's really no where to go. No where I need to go. No place I'd rather be. 

Mercy in the Toe

The scene of the "crime" 

(My toe hit the bottom part of the bouncy seat, which was up against a wall.  So it didn't move out of the way for me.  My toe did the moving.  In three places.  Yay.)

The "help" 

(I will get help from anyone.  Even letting a four year old do the laundry.  She's actually good at it and enjoys helping.)

The "boot"

(Borrowed from a friend.  The doctor said that it would be best to stay in this - for mobility, healing & protection) 

So... 6 weeks of boot, rest and buddy tape.  Not how I thought the end of the summer would be.

Not really at ALL how I pictured the summer ending.  With three kids...  With a broken toe...

It's amazing how God works and plans our lives and we just are sometimes along for the ride, 

marveling in His power, grace and mercy!   

I've been thinking about how this changes so much of what I do.  No more running at the Y for a while.  Running is so far away, since walking is still a problem; I can't walk very well or smoothly. I've got a cool limp now.  Even doing simple things...I tried to turn to go into a closet yesterday, and it hurt so bad.  Who knew the pinky toe was used to pivot?  I do now!  

But then I was thinking in a different way of how this changes everything.  We went to the pool last week and I had thought swimming laps would be fun, for a change of pace.  And I think that would actually be great...in a few weeks.  Mix things up!!  

And thinking about the "pace" of my life...  Three kids really does change things.  Greatly.  I think I was trying to keep the same things going - errands, household work, daily life - the same as when there was just me and the two girls at home.  Just throwing the baby into our schedule.  Not that it was crazy busy, but the pace was definitely pretty fast. What was I thinking? Seriously?!  With three kids, one being a small baby, my pace needs to change.  I need to, well, SLOW DOWN.  And I got the message...  

... LOUD  AND  CLEAR.  

So I'm slowing down.  I completely reevaluated my to-do list over the weekend.  I still have a list, because I won't remember anything at all if I don't write it down.  But the list is much shorter.  And much slower.  I think that I'm going to continue this, even post-toe!  I think that God wanted me to slow down, enjoy this season of life and have some rest.  And I guess I wasn't listening there for a while.  So I had to be immobilized in a way.  To just stop, look around, appreciate all the people around me - the relationships - and to - Listen.  Rest.  Accept help.  Play.  Slow.  

And in that, I see God's power...grace...mercy.  

Baby "stuff"

My five favorite baby items, the second time around. We didn't have these things two years ago, but they are now my must-haves!  Things ARE a little different than two years ago...

• Dr Browns bottle warmer

Last time, we were using Avent bottles. And I really liked them. But they have since changed them, and I'm not a fan of the new ones. And we are using the Dr Browns bottles - that is what he was using before he came home with us. And they work the best with his very "foamy" formula. I had tossed around the idea about getting a warmer with our first baby, but we just put it in hot water and it worked great. But this time...  I didn't want to have a cup of hot water being transported around the kitchen. Danger! And the other great thing about it... All you do is pop the bottle in there, set the timer and it beeps when it's done. And it's the perfect temp every time. Wonderful for when you are running, chasing, checking, fixing and losing track of time! 

• Dr Browns formula mixing pitcher 

Yep, it's the "Doctor" again. So that formula we are using. Foamy.  So shaking is out of the question, unless the goal is a cappuccino bottle.  We found this pitcher that has a plunger stirring mechanism. Works great for minimizing bubbles. Also, the formula is so graciously made every night by daddy, that all I have to do is pour. A wonderful and needed convenience. 

• Munchkin white noise machine with projector 

This little contraption is awesome. It has music and several white noise options. It will play continuously or will shut off with a timer. It also has a projection of several scenes. They kind of function like a mobile - and are a HUGE hit with the whole family! There is also a "voice activated" function, like it will turn on if the baby cries. I haven't used that yet, but so cool!  The white noise is a must in our loud and active house. I had made a white noise CD, but this is so much better!  When the baby outgrows it, I think I'm going to be using it! 

• WubbaNub pacifier

It's paci with a little critter attached to it. We have a little monkey that "helps" him keep the paci in his mouth. It helped us transition from the paci that he was using.  He loves the paci, so this helps him out so much. It just sometimes sounds weird in our house when we say "where's the monkey?" 

• Baby K'tan

Last but not least, the awesome baby carrier I got - for those first few months. It is a stretch knit carrier. It's kind of the same fabric as the knit wraps that I have seen so much (like a Moby), but it doesn't involve all the WRAPPING!  Because the wrapping takes time. And I wouldn't get it "just right." Just for fun, you can check out this video comparing the two... The first time around with a baby, I could just hold her or put her down anywhere and not really worry about what was going to happen.  But now, with two wild little ones running, throwing, dancing and wanting to be "involved" I needed a way to cuddle the new baby and still have my arms. Hence the newborn wrap. And it is great!  I like the K'tan because it's just two loops that you position, then slide the baby in - there is an extra wrap that goes over that - I like that part too - it adds comfort for both of us. It's so easy to do - and after about 5 times, I was a pro! There is no material dragging the ground - in a parking lot, or enticing a child to grab it and run... And we get to be close and bond while I chase the crazy girls! 

So make that six things... Not really FOR the baby yet, but because of the baby. 

• The City Mini Double Stroller

We usually have to get out of the house. And I was thinking...baby plus, a two year old "runner" and a four year old that gets tired. I knew that I wanted a baby carrier. And to make us completely mobile, we got a double stroller. And this thing is awesome! It corners so well.  I can even push it with one hand.  So that's me, pushing the tandem stroller (with my "twins" haha) and having the baby tied on me! 

Breaking point. Literally.

Once again, I have broken my baby toe.  And this time is it BAD.  I can hardly walk.  And it's swollen so much, it really is trying to be the size of my big toe.  Not being able to walk really does put a cramp in my parenting of three children.  Not so much with the chasing and the leaning.  Or the standing.  Or walking.  So it happened today (Saturday).  I guess that's a good thing, that it happened on a weekend, so that my husband is here to help me out.  But then again, the doctor is closed today.  I'm not really sure if I need to go to the doctor, anyway.  I have commenced with the buddy tape, ice and have tried to rest it the best I could today.  But that isn't as easy as it sounds.  

I have broken this toe several times before.  The first (and the worst, up until THIS time) was the night that I got engaged.  I kind of knew that it was coming - we were dressing up for a date.  I ran through my closet and WHACK, hit my food on the doorframe.  But I was so excited, I still shoved my foot in a dress shoe and had a great evening!  But that was a long time ago, I guess my feet don't recover as well now.  It does seem, though, that every time I break this toe, something major is going on in life.  Getting engaged was one of the big ones.  I think I had a few other minor breaks or "toe hits" for other momentous occasions.  I think I did when we went to get our first baby.  (I can't really remember all the breaks right now.  All I can really think is "ouch ow ouch")  And now I have a major one with our new baby.  Thankfully I avoided smashing my toe before going to China!  

I am a klutz.  At my last job I had, they knew that I'd be falling, tripping or dropping something at least once a week, er once a day.  They called me Grace.  And then when Twilight came out, they called me Bella.  I'm known for my accident-prone-ness.  But I've actually been doing well since having kids.  I guess I'm just wearing out. Having 4, 2 and 2 months just will drain you.  I think that I was working on adrenaline - for the first two weeks we had the new baby, I was just going going going.  Running on excitement and coffee.  And I was making that push to the birthday party weekend.  But now that the oldest has turned 4 and the party is over, I am drained.  Exhausted.  And it seems that gravity figured that out and pulled me down over baby gear and helped me break my toe.  

I knew that it was a goner as soon as I hit the floor.  Tears were just streaming down my face - and I'm a pretty tough cookie most of the time.  The girls came to check on me - gave me hugs and kisses (which I told them to blow kisses, not to actually KISS my foot).  It helped and was so sweet.  But the pain remained.  So that's me, walking around with a limp, hop and stutter.  

Oh....and no children were harmed in the process of falling. 

Week One

Wednesday - I was on the computer chatting my husband at work. He then said to hold on, our social worker was calling. And that she got the letter - that we had been waiting for. I chatted him back - what does that mean? And he said "baby tomorrow."
I had kind of been putting off stuff, guarding my heart. I didn't know how long we were going to be waiting for that last piece of paperwork. I thought I'd have a couple of days to get things ready when we finally got the news that all the paperwork was complete. We were thinking that it was going to be the next week. I even had a to do list for the weekend. But here it was "baby tomorrow" - life was going to change sooner than I thought. And I had so much to do. I was running around crazy - in "fast mode." I sent a few people on weird errands. Those things that I wanted to get finished that I had started - that I was going to do this weekend...

Thursday - Gotcha Day - I had planned to get a pedicure and haircut on Thursday. And I thought, well, might as well still do that. It might be a long time until I have time to do it again. So I had a relaxing morning! When I got home I had lots to do. And I was doing laundry and pulling out the little outfits that we were taking out of the drying and putting them in the diaper bag about 30 minutes before we were leaving. On the (excited) way there, it was pouring rain. What a crazy storm to drive through.
At the agency, we filled out paperwork. And as we were signing away, the power went out. So we were signing most of the paperwork by daylight through the windows! Then, we walked down the dark hallway to meet our baby. He was waiting for us in a little bassinet - we saw little hands first. And then as I knelt down to see him, the lights came back on! Wow! We spent time cuddling and talking to the baby.
We loaded up our minivan - our three in car seats. I can't believe that we have a van full of kids now. Crazy! Then we did some hanging out with friends and family that were at the house to greet us when we got home! It was a great afternoon. That night a dear friend brought dinner - I've never been so excited to see a bucket of chicken! We were starving. Sitting around watching a baby makes you hungry!

Friday - Day one with the baby - My parents were still in town so we hung out at the house that morning before they headed home. That afternoon, we left the house! Our first outing as a family of five! We went shopping at the baby store - for bottles and some things that we needed. We are figuring out what he likes and doesn't like - so that we can have what we need (well, what he needs) and be prepared. Mostly. Sort of. Maybe.
By the end of the day, it just seeemed that he just fit in our family. It was hard to remember that it WAS just the first day with him.

Saturday - My sister in law brought us lunch - we needed that pizza and pasta. Again we were starving. Why does being out of routine and being in the house more make you so hungry. And then we just ate the rest of the day. Whatever we could find. And speaking of eating. Baby boy is eating more each day. It's weird to have a baby drinking the bottle. He is a hungry fella! We went back to the baby store - we needed more things. It's like moving into a house and it seems every day you are going to the home improvment store. Each day we are figuring out more things we need for the baby. Things that we don't have anymore from 2 years ago. Or things that are just going to work better for how our lives are now - like a bottle warmer. Last time we just used a pyrex of hot water. But I have 2 little kids running around and only 1 hand that is usually free. This was probably the best purchase we have made! I love it. It's so easy. And we got this pitcher that swusshes the formula mix, so no bubbles. Aha! And it get (so kindly) made every night so that it is ready the next day. For ALL of the botttles. That's going to be great when I'm at home by myself with the kids - 1 on 3 deffense!

Sunday - We went to church, but it only lasted through the music - the first part of the service. At 11:30, pretty much on the dot, he started expressing very loudly that this was the time that he wanted to eat. And he wanted to eat.... NOW. I was already (thankfully) out of the sanctuary when he started wailing loud. So we gathered the girls and headed home. That's quite a way to be "notified" about his feeding schedule.

Monday - Family of 5 shopping trip to Target. I had the baby and a cart. Daddy had the stroller with the girls. We loaded up on diapers and other household needs. I had stuff piled around the little baby. He was asleep in the car seat already, so I didn't want to tie/wrap him on and mess us the calm. He did great - first Target shopping trip! Can't say that he's a shopper, but he was very patient while I shopped...much like his daddy! For dinner, I cooked - well, I put dinner in the crock pot that afternoon and we had a "real" meal - meat, potatoes and veggies! I think that it was amazing that I remembered to start the crock pot around 1pm. I never seem to be able to do that during a "regular" week. Guess it was us starving and talking about dinner, right after lunch, that made me remember to do it!

Tuesday - Family grocery store outing! We needed the basics. We had the 2 kid cart and baby boy was in the carrier. I don't know what I would do without that carrrier. I settled on getting a Baby K'tan. It's a knit wrap - and those are better for newborns which don't have head control and just need to be snuggled more! Plus it's great for bonding, which me and the little guy are doing quite well. And the super bonus is that I have arms and hands!! Something I need since I have the 2 girls running around, needing things. It's nice to have the cuddles and the freedom of arms! And this one is so easy to do. It's two loops, instead of one LONG piece of fabric. So it's fairly easy to throw on in the house, or beside the car. Another one of my favorite purchases this go around with a baby.

Wednesday - First day: 1 on 3. I think it went pretty well. It started early - early for me - and earlier than we usually start. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to have a new "early" with these folks. I don't know if I was expecting to be super stressed or for there to be like a major disaster, but it was just a nice day. I did venture out - to Target - I headed for the familiar in an unfamiliar way. It was great to get out - and to see that it can be done. Me and the girls get so stir crazy in the house. We usually have to go somewhere each day. So with the baby wrap and the double stroller, we headed into Target - made it there and back fairly smoothly soon. And it was nice to see a friend there too - to give me encouragement and entertainment!

Thursday - We had lunch with Nanna. It was nice to get out of the house at lunchtime. But before we went, there were some horrible storms that came through. And they did come...through. Through the kitchen window. I had some small cups, then moved onto bowls. Then I had to just resort to the huge "collectors" movie cups that I got at the Hunger Games to catch the water that was pouring in at the top of the window. I see where it is coming in, but not sure how it is getting to where it's coming in. I had a hard time trying to contain the water and getting very frustrated in the "splash zone" behind the kitchen table. Water was everywhere. So after the storms passed, it was nice to get out for lunch and have some comfort food at Cracker Barrel. The girls had a blast - change of scenery, change of people. My niece came too!
Then that evening. More storms. Worse storms. More water. Water everywhere. More filling the huge movie cups.
It was a very eventful day like the last Thursday. But definitly not as much fun!

And that was week one as a new family of five!

Today is the day!

And then there were three:
Here we are, on the brink of welcoming a third child, a third adopted child, into our family.  How wonderfully and abundantly God has built our family.  Five years ago, if you asked me if I would be writing a blog about having three kids, I would have thought it was crazy.  I thought I was going to have only one.  And one was going to be an amazing blessing.  But now, there will be three.  

The call:

Two months ago, I got a call from our previous social worker.  "Sit down, do you want a baby?" I was floored. We were not pursuing adoption.  But by a request from the birth mom, here we are. [due to the sensitive nature of this situation, I'm not going to go into detail here] 

So we are getting a baby boy. It was great to call my husband, who was out of town and ask - hey, um. Do you want a baby? It's a boy?! So we started our journey - running, actually sprinting, to bring him home. 

Warp speed adoption prep: 

I got the news on a Monday afternoon - and we said yes that evening. Then Tuesday I did all of the paperwork for the adoption (like 2 months of paperwork from application to legal forms). Then Wednesday we went and got our fingerprints. And the place is only open on Wednesdays! Perfectly God's timing. Then that Wednesday afternoon we had our first home study. Then the next Monday we had the other 4 home studies in one big session. Then that Tuesday and Wednesday we had our physicals done. Amazing that we got appointments so fast!  So pretty much a whole adoption in the matter of a week! Then we waited... 

Waiting: 

It was different waiting this time, because there was already a baby. Normally you do "process, waiting baby" but we did "baby, process, waiting" and it was emotional, in a different way. Waiting for something that you didn't know you wanted. The surprise way that it came into our lives made it really not seem that real, even with all the signing and buying and planning. My background check came back in about 2 weeks. About what we were thinking.  But then my husband's fingerprints got a misread. Basically, more waiting. Calling, checking, waiting. And then yesterday all of the sudden - done! 

We had to do everything all over again. Because they can only count all of the legal stuff for one adoption only. Basically, we are putting stuff in the baby's file, not our file. So each child has to have all the documentation. Also, we did find out that we had to wait for everything to come in before Gotcha Day, because the agency could have license problems. I would not want to do anything to harm our adoption, or anyone else's in the future. 

So, I started this blog titled as "the big news" - that was a few weeks ago, but since the super fast part kind of slowed down, I had to put it aside and guard my heart. It was weird to not know you wanted something and then miss it when you didn't get it.  Then I changed the title to something about having three kids. 

But today is the day. Everything changes. And it will be amazing to see our new family! 

Pig Pen... of noise

Sometimes (ok most of the time) I feel like Pig Pen - from the Peanuts cartoon. He's the one that has a swirl of dirt and dust swirling around him all the time - but with a smile on his face. But the stuff swirling around me isn't dirt.  It's noise and chaos. And Pig Pen's cute little smile... I have a smile, sometimes.
I used to just be very quiet and methodical when I shopped, ate out, or went anywhere. But now it's like I'm leading a parade float. The girls are either screaming about wanting something - to walk, to grab, to eat, to drink, to do. Or they are saying "hi" and hello and asking questions to everyone we see. This is when it's more like a parade float.  When I go somewhere, anywhere, I'm going to be loud and have a large cart or stroller or children running. You see us coming. You see us going. There is always something going on around me.

Today, a fast shopping trip was more adventurous, while in our large double stroller - that we recently got and I love! Since one of the girls is a runner (and fast) and the other one gets pitiful and doesn't want to walk, I needed a stroller that would work for both of them.  And they both get equal "footing" in this tandem stroller. So side by side, it's wide. There are a few places that I can't get to, but mostly I can do doorway sized aisles (and doorways!) and other places. Today, I took a clothes rack with me - it got hooked on the stroller canopy and I got stuck. So the girls are chatting and squealing and grabbing at clothes, and I'm the crazy lady stuck in the clothes rack with the chaos. Fortunately I was in the kids department and another mom (sans kids) too pity on me and freed us.

I am learning to live in the chaos and love it. That these little years days are loud and active and crazy.  And they are so short... 

Infestation, pests and other annoyances

It started with the fleas.  Our indoor dog, who has only had a flea issue once before, has had a bad case of fleas over the past few weeks.  It might have been for quiet a while now.  She has been itching for months.  But I just thought it was dry winter skin, and was treating it as such.  That or hot spots.  But then I was being driven crazy with all the scratching and licking.  So I was doing some research online - and duh, run the flea comb over the dog, if you get black specks, you have a flea problem. And boy.  Did we have a flea problem.  Not only did I get black specks, I got about 30 fleas.  Uh oh.  So I started in with the treating of the fleas.  I got some flea shampoo,  and it worked.  I was just concerned about using it - especially after reading the label.  "Avoid skin contact... don't really even look at it too long..."  Well, not that bad, but I changed my plan of action.  We got this glue trap/light thing.  It works great.  And I started religiously combing the dog.  And then just using the shampoo to kill the fleas that I combed off.  I was trying to just drowned then in water down the sink.  But they would just jump back up.  We have some kind of SUPER flea.  But now after several weeks, the fleas are still here, but under control.  Now with only once a day combing, I'm only getting one or two fleas.  And the trap...  it has about 30.  

So... it's been one month.

So... It's been a month since my last blog.  Again.  I SO want to get back to blogging.  I think I have more blogs that say those words, than I have of "actual" blogs.  Somehow the ideas are there.  The desire is there.  I want to do it, because it is a wonderful creative release for me.  And it helps me work through all those random thought ans feelings that like to swirl and fester in my head.  So blogging - it does me good.  So why can't I seem to get there to do it?   Hmmm?   I am busy, but not really any more than anyone else.  I have down time.  I just am one of those people that has to have everything "done" before I can sit down and do something like this.  Like being creative - or thinking.  As a kid in school, I had to clean my room before I could do any of my homework.  Totally weird.  And it wasn't like I was putting it off because I didn't want to do it.  I loved school - homework - learning.  I just couldn't think, while there were things to be put away.  A list to be checked off.   So here we are in adulthood.  Same kind of thing.  I can't do my blog "homework" until all my "chores" of the day are done.  I've even tried putting "write blog" on my to do list - AS a chore.  Still, it gets pushed aside for another day.  I have a place where I am at least writing ideas of what I want to write about.  So when the desire and the time come together, I'm ready!  

May Photo-A-Day - Part 3

May Photo-A-Day
Part Three 

Day 21: Orange 

Day 22: Bugs (a VERY hungry caterpillar) 

Day 23: Chair

The chair in the office of the IAC - where H & I spend some quality time that morning! 

Day 24: Flowers 

Day 25: Quiet (H and glue sticks - quiet for about an HOUR!) 

Day 26: Flare (my new purse and bag - embracing color) 

Day 27: Mirror - that H made at church 

Day 28: Trees (on the way to the zoo, H asks "where is the zoo? and I say "behind those trees!) 

Day 29: Cheerful 

Day 30: A Man (his house is shown above) 

Day 31: From Below - after collapsing from exhaustion on the floor in the den! 


This has been fun!!  It took me a while to get May posted.  And I started doing June photos, but I just can't keep up.  It was fun to have a little monthlong snapshot of LIFE as it is now.  

What people think

I used to care what people thought.  What I wore, what I said, what I did.  Especially in high school.  I think that is the nature of being a teenager, though. And I was never one that could convince myself that everyone else was too worried about themselves to be worrying about me.  But I thought that when I became an "adult" that I would just get this self-confidence, where I would just be sure of myself and enjoy being me.  It didn't just come one day... But I kind of grew into it. And the final push of just not caring what people think happened when two preschoolers came into my life. 

I just can't care what people think - especially when we go places. Because wherever we go, it's most likely going to be a "scene."  It may be tears, screaming in anger, screaming with glee, whining, or just laughing and saying "Hi" to everyone we see.  You know we are coming by the noise...  The checkout ladies at our grocery store know that we are in the store and are looking for us to round that last corner. 

A few weeks ago, we were at Target, and the final thread of caring what people think was broken. I ended up with two little girls laying on the floor in one of the main aisles at Target, screaming and crying.  Both girls had REFUSED to get in the cart (which if they WILL do this, it usually helps save on the drama...) I had picked out a small rolling duffel to purchase that was being pushed (not pulled) by one of them and ran the other one over. So mommy took the duffel bag and then I had two girls screaming. One was "hurt" (just surprised, no actual pain). One just got something taken away. And of course, several people walked by looking at the scene. It was quite the drama caused by a little duffel bag. And that was the moment. I didn't care what people thought. I didn't care who saw. I actually couldn't care. Both of the girls were going to have to get over it before we could move on... Both of them sprawled out on the floor, screaming, crying and refusing to move. All I could do was comfort, wait and ignore the stares. It was mor pity stares and "oh I'm so glad I'm not you" stares. And after a few minutes, they did finally move. Well, one was still whimpering about wanting to push the duffel bag. And even thought it was a moment that we were all on the ground in the middle of a store, it's one of those moments I will remember. One of those moments that I have been waiting for - as I have waited so long for ALL mommy moments.  One more mommy badge. And one more memory! 

Keeping things running smoothly...

Each week I have a plan.  For getting everything done (well, most everything done).  I have an awesome to do list app on my iPad, that I refer to MANY times a day.  It's called Errands.  And it doesn't look like much when you first download it.  The beauty of it, though, is its customizability. 

I have my day to day life broken down into categories, like chores, shopping lists and errands outside the house.  And for each day, I have one or two tasks for each category.  So, for instance, my cleaning chores are broken down into one task for each day - one day is the bathroom; one day is vacuuming, etc. And the same for laundry - instead of waiting until someone is totally out of an article of clothing, each day of the week has its own load assigned to it.  

I do the same kind of thing for uploading, editing and sorting all of the many pictures that I take of my girls - all the time.  If I didn't do it weekly, they would pile up - and then never get done.  

Same with the cleaning, really.  I used to just have one day on the weekend that I would clean everything.  And I dreaded those hours.  How they took away my weekend fun time (at this time I was working outside the home and we didn't have kids).  So now, with my daily maintenance cleaning and other chores, everything stays clean.  My kitchen, my bath, my paper inbox, my photos.  That way I don't get overwhelmed. And everything stays clean - which makes the cleaning easier. 

Probably the most important thing to me that I do each day is prepare for the next day.  Getting out lists and coupons, getting out things for the next day's chore (like cleaners and such), getting the next day's laundry load on top of the washer and picking out clothes.  

This system works so well for me.  It may sound a little, well, nerdy.  But I guess that's how I liike things!  With the hyper organization of the chores and tasks that keep the house running, I don't have to think about it much - or really at all.  I know Oh, now it's time to do "this."  

Another great thing about the app that I mentioned, is that I can sort by category to see what is due each day in each area.  So I can see how my week is going to go - so that I can spread things out.  This works well in planning my errands for the week.  

Since all the planning is already done, this system saves me so much time.  And keeps me on track - something that I have a hard time doing.  Also it helps maintain my much desired level of organization and neatness.  Which helps me enjoy all the other aspects of being at home!  

Are they twins?

I am getting that bizarre question more than I ever thought that I would.  And it's mainly from people that see the girls side by side - and facing them.  I wasn't really sure how to answer when it first was being said.  But I am getting that question SO much now that I now have a standard answer, which includes the following:  No they are not twins.  They are both adoption.  They are 3 and 2 years old.  They are the same size.  One is from the US.  One is from China.  They do kind of function like twins sometimes.  

If not the "Are they twins?" question, then "are they both yours?" or "are they sisters?"  But all of these questions have pretty much the same answer... 

Soon after we got back from China and after I started feeling like I could actually function with two kids, I kind of felt like I had twins.  If one got it, the other one HAD to have it.  And about that same time, they started wanting to dress alike.  I didn't want to completely dress then like twins - I didn't want to act like they were.  But I could have - they do wear the same size clothes.  So began having two of many things - or at least two things that were comparable.  

And really, the funny thing is, I've really always wanted twins.  When we started fertility long ago, I can pretty much said that I HATED it.  Everything about it was miserable to me.  I think I knew that this wasn't the way for me, but that I needed to be there for a while to get to where I was going.  But one of the only thing that kind of excited me about fertility was the increased chance of twins!  But alas.  That didn't happen.  And when we started the journey of adoption, the mom that spoke the day that we knew God was leading us to adoption from China - she has beautiful twin girls from China.  Twins again - leading me to where I am now.  But when we began the China adoption journey, I thought we were on the road to only one child.  But God had this amazing plan.  And after not one, but two amazing, blessed miraculous adoptions, I have two great girls..  That are the same size and are like twins... But are not.  I have a little helper when I need it.  And a cuddly baby when I need it too.  But then I have two fun little ones that play so well together, wear the same size, eat the same things, want the same toys...  

So now when I answer that sweet, but odd question "Are they twins?" I no longer am surprised to hear it.  It's kind of fun to answer.  I get to tell a little bit about how adoption has blessed our lives.  And how God has given us these two wonderful gifts.  

Yes, the first few times I wanted to say - "why yes they are twins... fraternal" - haha!  It is fun to watch people's faces if they are wondering how me and my husband HAD these kids.  Our youngest, adopted from the States, looks just like daddy.  And my sweet girl from China looks a lot like me, and really she looks half Chinese.  And remember, they are about the same size.  So when you look at them, it's hard to figure out how I had these two girls - and looking like it was less than 9 months apart.  

So my sweet girls - my dark eyed, brown haired gift from China and my blond blue eyed blessing from the States - they are not twins...  But they are sisters.  They are both mine.  And they are both wonderful blessings in our family!  

May Photo-A-Day Part 2

Part TWO - Days 11-20

 Day 11: Bath time

  Day 12: Morning

 

 

  Day 13: Mom (what mom runs on...) 

 

 

Day 14: Pen/Pencils 

 

 

Day 15: White

 

 

 Day 16: Pattern

 

 

  Day 17: Details 

 

 

 Day 18: Numbers

 

 

 Day 19: You

 

 

  Day 20: Glasses 

 

 These days were pretty fun to do - just day to day life.  The girls' towels, the sky above my house.  I love my sharpies - markers and pens!  The white day was J's hand and foot when she was just a teeny 9 months old.  Pattern is H's bed, her blanket for her bunny, and the giraffe - part of a menagerie that she sleeps with every night.  If we add any more to the pile, there's not going to be room for her!  The "details" are all the pages in my well-organized and FULL VBS folder - full of leader prep stuff. And I'm only the director over part of it. It's getting closer!  And that folder is getting fuller! The number TWO for J's birthday!  She had a great birthday!  My feet by the pool for "you" - when I was at the beach a couple of weeks ago.  And two pairs of sunglasses for Day 20.  H looks so cool in her shades!