Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Tales for Tuesday: Who am I?

I was thinking the other day.  What are the words that define "me?"

A Mom.  Finally.  I never thought that time would come.
Organized.  Like Excel and label maker organized.
Silly.  I do enjoy laughing and just having fun!
A Worrier.  I used to be worse, much worse, than I am now.  I have mellowed in adult years.

I guess those are some of the things that make me - ME.

It's been my heart's desire to be a mom.  I have wanted it.  Longed for it.  Now, being in heart of it, it doesn't feel like I thought "Mommy" would feel.  It kind of feels normal.  It's weird that it really came naturally and pretty much instantaneously.  It pretty much had to - with those 4 days to prepare for all that comes with bringing home a baby.  But still I'm trying to figure out who I was, who I am and who I'm becoming.  It's not easy.  But I'm enjoying every minute!

Monday, August 1, 2011

Where has the blog gone?

So my goal at the beginning of the year of blogging everyday turned into blogging just on the weekdays.  And now has apparently turned into just blogging at the first of every month.  Once again, I miss my blog.  I miss the thought process and the writing.  I think that I need this outlet.  For some reason, my brain has just been going crazy - thinking, figuring things out.  Not that I had anything major really going on in there, it was just a little busy.  But now, I feel things are settling down - getting a rhythm and seeming not so chaotic.  In my brain.  And in the house.
Maybe I'm finally getting this motherhood thing down.  It's only taken, what... 14 months.  But I am getting more to a place of where I know who I want to be as a person, as a mother, as a wife.  And can actually see myself becoming that.  It was such a sudden change for me.  I didn't really have time to mull it over...  I wonder what kind of mother I will be?  How I would do it?  Even what I would want to do.  There were only 3 days - get crib, get car seat, get diapers, get BABY!  But now, seeing how I deal with major events, minor crises and just day to day chores and errands, I know more of who I want to be IN my day to day life.