What people think

I used to care what people thought.  What I wore, what I said, what I did.  Especially in high school.  I think that is the nature of being a teenager, though. And I was never one that could convince myself that everyone else was too worried about themselves to be worrying about me.  But I thought that when I became an "adult" that I would just get this self-confidence, where I would just be sure of myself and enjoy being me.  It didn't just come one day... But I kind of grew into it. And the final push of just not caring what people think happened when two preschoolers came into my life. 

I just can't care what people think - especially when we go places. Because wherever we go, it's most likely going to be a "scene."  It may be tears, screaming in anger, screaming with glee, whining, or just laughing and saying "Hi" to everyone we see.  You know we are coming by the noise...  The checkout ladies at our grocery store know that we are in the store and are looking for us to round that last corner. 

A few weeks ago, we were at Target, and the final thread of caring what people think was broken. I ended up with two little girls laying on the floor in one of the main aisles at Target, screaming and crying.  Both girls had REFUSED to get in the cart (which if they WILL do this, it usually helps save on the drama...) I had picked out a small rolling duffel to purchase that was being pushed (not pulled) by one of them and ran the other one over. So mommy took the duffel bag and then I had two girls screaming. One was "hurt" (just surprised, no actual pain). One just got something taken away. And of course, several people walked by looking at the scene. It was quite the drama caused by a little duffel bag. And that was the moment. I didn't care what people thought. I didn't care who saw. I actually couldn't care. Both of the girls were going to have to get over it before we could move on... Both of them sprawled out on the floor, screaming, crying and refusing to move. All I could do was comfort, wait and ignore the stares. It was mor pity stares and "oh I'm so glad I'm not you" stares. And after a few minutes, they did finally move. Well, one was still whimpering about wanting to push the duffel bag. And even thought it was a moment that we were all on the ground in the middle of a store, it's one of those moments I will remember. One of those moments that I have been waiting for - as I have waited so long for ALL mommy moments.  One more mommy badge. And one more memory!