What is that noise that I hear? Oh, silence. Uh oh.
It's interesting become a parent. As babies, kids pretty much stay where you leave them. You watch them sleep, giggle, and eat. And you see their little eyes look back at you. Then they start moving... And moving fast. I always thought that you have to always WATCH your kids. Watch to make sure that they are doing what they should and not doing what they shouldn't. But what I have learned over the past few years is that is more of what you hear than really what you see. And more importantly, what you don't hear!
When the kids are making noise, I can pretty much tell what they are doing and how they are playing. I can even tell what's on a child's mind as they are walking down the hallway, by the way they are walking. Like on the way to the fridge for a drink. Or purposefully headed to the potty. Or meandering down holding a princess dress. Even before I look that way, I can predict the "traffic" patterns of the kids. I can tell the girls are playing together and if they are in the mood to include their brother by the noises made.
And it's not the screams or the thuds that are the scariest. Those are not good noises, but usually they are made in "fun" times. Still freaking mommy out a little, but with no harm and no tears. It's the silence that is the scariest. If the kids are making NO noise, that is when investigation is necessary. Usually I will find the oldest just coloring and drawing, concentrating on her latest artwork. And the youngest will be found in the silence just pushing little buttons on a toy - although sometimes sitting somewhere he really shouldn't be, complete with a "what is it mommy..." coy smile. It's the middle one - she is the one that I search out and find adventure. Sitting on our bed having gone through my purse, on her FOURTH piece of gum. Happy as a clam. Or all of the clothes out of a drawer neatly strewn across the room. There was a plan - a quiet plan. And since writing this blog a week ago (before posting), the baby is now "up to something" as soon as I hear silence. Now there are two silent adventurers in trouble...
Toilet paper and tissues strewn about silently. Sprinkles poured in the lap and being eaten silently (don't ask). Towers built. Plans laid. Danger brews.
Play is loud. Discovery is quiet.
- Carrie
Sent from my iPad
Monday, February 3, 2014
Monday, January 20, 2014
Hurry Up
Come on! Hurry up! We have got to go!
Why am I in such a hurry all the time? Where am I actually going?
I just finished a book about simple living. And it was really about simple living needs to start in your heart. It was more about taking the time to enjoy the people in your life and to enjoy being with yourself, instead of how to organizing or schedule. It was actually more about NOT scheduling. To really take a look at your to do list and activities and see what in there is life-giving. And what could - or should - be removed.
I have been trying to slow down over the last few weeks. Moving so slowly, that I couldn't get this blog finished. Haha. (Well, yeah.)
It's not that I'm always running late - well, I am sometimes. I have plenty of time to get where I need to be, but then I think I have more time than I actually have, and I add a task here and there. Oh, I could do this "really quickly" - and "really quickly" is much longer than I really account for. So then I end up in a rush - and then subsequently, end up being late. And that leads me to telling the kids to hurry all the time. Maybe sometimes we do need to be in a hurry. But why?
I really desire to be with my kids in the moment. And if I'm pushing them out the door all the time, there isn't much time to just BE. And after thinking about it, there are so many times that I am telling the kids to hurry - and there is NO reason to rush. There is really no where to be at that time. We aren't late. I'm just wanting them to hurry - and hurry for me. Where is my patience in my parenting?
I guess I'm just wanting to move faster then they are moving. I do have an inner momentum that is going at breakneck speed most of the time. So what I've been doing the past week or so is trying to slow down that inner rhythm. The one that is rushing me to keep going and do something. Even when I'm sitting down, I feel rushed to get on with the next thing. And in this slowing, it is really doing wonders for my day - and my mind. I am calmer. I can deal with the little things as they come along [and in saying that, this IS a work in progress, so there is work to be done!!] I don't feel bad if I spend time running through the house playing hide and seek with the kids and a few chores get left on the list for the next day. By slowing down from the inside, I am really able to see what matters. I am taking pauses during the day - to sit, with the kids or with a book. To have a cup of coffee. To just sit down!! Instead of just waiting to rest at the end of the day - basically sprinting to the finish, I'm taking a pause and recharging throughout the day. This pausing part is definitely a work in progress. I'm still not sure what this will look like day to day with little ones at home.
And to make this kind of slow rest be a part of our family, we are implementing Sabbath rest to our Sundays. Preparing for Sabbath throughout the week, so that Sunday looks different than every other day. Not only going to church for worship and fellowship, but being sure to rest and recharge our whole selves. No chores or errands - and maintaining the house (like doing dishes) kept at a minimum. We will be doing things that are fun, healthful and restful - individually and as a family.
It's going to be hard to slow down (and maintain it) during the week - and really hard to pretty much stop on Sunday. This is a new frontier that I am embarking on - and there is so much to learn. But it's something that I so want to do - and need to do. So I am now going to hurry up - and slow down!
Why am I in such a hurry all the time? Where am I actually going?
I just finished a book about simple living. And it was really about simple living needs to start in your heart. It was more about taking the time to enjoy the people in your life and to enjoy being with yourself, instead of how to organizing or schedule. It was actually more about NOT scheduling. To really take a look at your to do list and activities and see what in there is life-giving. And what could - or should - be removed.
I have been trying to slow down over the last few weeks. Moving so slowly, that I couldn't get this blog finished. Haha. (Well, yeah.)
It's not that I'm always running late - well, I am sometimes. I have plenty of time to get where I need to be, but then I think I have more time than I actually have, and I add a task here and there. Oh, I could do this "really quickly" - and "really quickly" is much longer than I really account for. So then I end up in a rush - and then subsequently, end up being late. And that leads me to telling the kids to hurry all the time. Maybe sometimes we do need to be in a hurry. But why?
I really desire to be with my kids in the moment. And if I'm pushing them out the door all the time, there isn't much time to just BE. And after thinking about it, there are so many times that I am telling the kids to hurry - and there is NO reason to rush. There is really no where to be at that time. We aren't late. I'm just wanting them to hurry - and hurry for me. Where is my patience in my parenting?
I guess I'm just wanting to move faster then they are moving. I do have an inner momentum that is going at breakneck speed most of the time. So what I've been doing the past week or so is trying to slow down that inner rhythm. The one that is rushing me to keep going and do something. Even when I'm sitting down, I feel rushed to get on with the next thing. And in this slowing, it is really doing wonders for my day - and my mind. I am calmer. I can deal with the little things as they come along [and in saying that, this IS a work in progress, so there is work to be done!!] I don't feel bad if I spend time running through the house playing hide and seek with the kids and a few chores get left on the list for the next day. By slowing down from the inside, I am really able to see what matters. I am taking pauses during the day - to sit, with the kids or with a book. To have a cup of coffee. To just sit down!! Instead of just waiting to rest at the end of the day - basically sprinting to the finish, I'm taking a pause and recharging throughout the day. This pausing part is definitely a work in progress. I'm still not sure what this will look like day to day with little ones at home.
And to make this kind of slow rest be a part of our family, we are implementing Sabbath rest to our Sundays. Preparing for Sabbath throughout the week, so that Sunday looks different than every other day. Not only going to church for worship and fellowship, but being sure to rest and recharge our whole selves. No chores or errands - and maintaining the house (like doing dishes) kept at a minimum. We will be doing things that are fun, healthful and restful - individually and as a family.
It's going to be hard to slow down (and maintain it) during the week - and really hard to pretty much stop on Sunday. This is a new frontier that I am embarking on - and there is so much to learn. But it's something that I so want to do - and need to do. So I am now going to hurry up - and slow down!
Thursday, January 2, 2014
New Year
Alas the year has come to a close. And the memories that we will have of the time that is past - are already made and remembered. A fresh new start comes with the beginning of a new year. My New Year's resolutions usually tend to lean more towards goals - like a change in attitude or perspective - instead of a more tangible goal of "doing" something. And changing when the calendar changes is a great opportunity. It seems easier to do things like this in the new year, because people are more receptive to change. Maybe it's expected more - because the new year is a time for a new beginning.
So this year I want to focus on living in the present. I'm not going to get this time back. These days with my little ones are fleeting. So I want to enjoy the moments. Living with the mindset of "will I regret it if I don't do THIS or THAT" may sound a little defeatist or negative, but it motivates me to do things. Because it is true. I'm not going to get today back. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow is yet to come. So all that I have is today. So it puts a fire in my day - in my planning - in my doing.
I gave this philosophy a try this Christmas season. Thinking ahead - what do I want to do this season with my kids, family and home? What am I going to wish that I did - if I don't do it? So I made a list and put stuff in my calendar to do them! And it was fun! Baking, crafting, doing random silly things and watching fun Christmas movies - just to name a few! It added fun and magic to the season. And really created some memories and traditions for our family. I got to see what works and what doesn't really... And since I was trying and doing lots of things, there were many successes (like baking) and only a few disasters (baking again)! Instead of just wishing I could do a certain activity or just thinking it was going to be too hard or take too much time or just do it "later" (and "later" seems to never come) we just DID things - jumping right in! It was easy to practice this way of thinking during the holiday season. It will be interesting to apply it during the "regular" part of the year, doing "normal" activities!
I'm thinking that the first few things I'm going to focus doing things in the NOW and not the later are a few things for me - blogging and reading. I miss my creative outlets that are personal - I do plenty of creative things with the kids, but for me, my brain function needs a workout! Those are things that get pushed aside to the "later" pile - so why not think about doing it now!
The other thing is living in the space that I have now - with the things that I need and use NOW. This is sort of a carry-over from last year. Cleaning out what we don't really need or use. Having less. Using more of what we have. Being grateful for the things, but more importantly for each other and the time we spend together. I think that things - tech stuff, toys and even to do lists - get in the way of time spent together. I want to make way for the people by having less physically in the way. I'm not sure how this is going to work, what I am going to do, how far I'm going to go and if it's going to work. But it's going to be on my mind.
So over the next few weeks and months, I'm going to be thinking... How do I want to look back on this time that I have spent while my kids are in the little years? It's a unique time and I'm right in the middle of it!
So this year I want to focus on living in the present. I'm not going to get this time back. These days with my little ones are fleeting. So I want to enjoy the moments. Living with the mindset of "will I regret it if I don't do THIS or THAT" may sound a little defeatist or negative, but it motivates me to do things. Because it is true. I'm not going to get today back. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow is yet to come. So all that I have is today. So it puts a fire in my day - in my planning - in my doing.
I gave this philosophy a try this Christmas season. Thinking ahead - what do I want to do this season with my kids, family and home? What am I going to wish that I did - if I don't do it? So I made a list and put stuff in my calendar to do them! And it was fun! Baking, crafting, doing random silly things and watching fun Christmas movies - just to name a few! It added fun and magic to the season. And really created some memories and traditions for our family. I got to see what works and what doesn't really... And since I was trying and doing lots of things, there were many successes (like baking) and only a few disasters (baking again)! Instead of just wishing I could do a certain activity or just thinking it was going to be too hard or take too much time or just do it "later" (and "later" seems to never come) we just DID things - jumping right in! It was easy to practice this way of thinking during the holiday season. It will be interesting to apply it during the "regular" part of the year, doing "normal" activities!
I'm thinking that the first few things I'm going to focus doing things in the NOW and not the later are a few things for me - blogging and reading. I miss my creative outlets that are personal - I do plenty of creative things with the kids, but for me, my brain function needs a workout! Those are things that get pushed aside to the "later" pile - so why not think about doing it now!
The other thing is living in the space that I have now - with the things that I need and use NOW. This is sort of a carry-over from last year. Cleaning out what we don't really need or use. Having less. Using more of what we have. Being grateful for the things, but more importantly for each other and the time we spend together. I think that things - tech stuff, toys and even to do lists - get in the way of time spent together. I want to make way for the people by having less physically in the way. I'm not sure how this is going to work, what I am going to do, how far I'm going to go and if it's going to work. But it's going to be on my mind.
So over the next few weeks and months, I'm going to be thinking... How do I want to look back on this time that I have spent while my kids are in the little years? It's a unique time and I'm right in the middle of it!
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Transition Week
This week, we are gearing up for NEXT week - when the two girls start preschool. When I think about it, it's not really that much of a change. But when I really think about it - thinking about what this means and how different it really will be and how emotions play into this - it kind of is a big change. This will be the first time that I drop them off for an extended period of time. I have been blessed to be a stay at home mom for the past three years and now it's time to ease on into the world of school.
We did some "practice" rounds this summer - for them and me both - in the way of dance camps. It was weird that first day, leaving the building with a kid still in there. And seeing each of them get in line, meet new friends, and not need me for those few hours - made me proud. There are going to be several combinations of kids and me during the weeks of school - just me and the baby - all three of us - and then just the two younger ones. It's going to be fun to see how it is spending time with each other in different ways!! My goal is to enjoy this year - have fun - really enjoy these "little years" moments, as the next few years they will be flying past me...
So this week, we are trying things out. Portable snacks and lunches - seeing what works and what doesn't. Playing a little more - at home and at the park. Getting up just a little earlier. Getting dressed a little faster. Gearing up for a new routine! I'm so looking forward to some routine! Routine + Crazy = the little years!
Since it's not really "summer" and Labor Day weekend is coming and routines don't really start until the middle of next week, this week feels just kind of an in-between. Maybe like the whole week is a Wednesday. Instead of hump day... hump week!
We did some "practice" rounds this summer - for them and me both - in the way of dance camps. It was weird that first day, leaving the building with a kid still in there. And seeing each of them get in line, meet new friends, and not need me for those few hours - made me proud. There are going to be several combinations of kids and me during the weeks of school - just me and the baby - all three of us - and then just the two younger ones. It's going to be fun to see how it is spending time with each other in different ways!! My goal is to enjoy this year - have fun - really enjoy these "little years" moments, as the next few years they will be flying past me...
So this week, we are trying things out. Portable snacks and lunches - seeing what works and what doesn't. Playing a little more - at home and at the park. Getting up just a little earlier. Getting dressed a little faster. Gearing up for a new routine! I'm so looking forward to some routine! Routine + Crazy = the little years!
Since it's not really "summer" and Labor Day weekend is coming and routines don't really start until the middle of next week, this week feels just kind of an in-between. Maybe like the whole week is a Wednesday. Instead of hump day... hump week!
Friday, May 24, 2013
Flat on the ground
Today: Travel mug coffee. Doctor's office for #3. Ran three miles. 2 out of 3 children soaking wet. Tried to go shopping. Car wash. Middle child screaming for chicken. For donuts. Locked out of house (by a certain four year old). Lunch at 1:30 after dramatic fits by #1 & #2. Finally naps for #2 & #3.
Why is it that the days that you want to get out and have fun - one of those days with nice weather too - are the days that you just struggle to have fun? Maybe I should have just stayed here.
I was thinking today about why I can't get anything done. Besides the obvious "I have 3 kids four and under with me at all times" - and maybe that's a good one. But today was a great example. I got going early. And got out of the dr fast (which is weird). Then I just needed to exercise - I need it bad!! And that was fun - and child free - for a moment. Then, that's where the crazy came in. I thought - hey, let's do some fun things. And my girls do like shopping. So we went to get them some pool shoes. #2's feet are now the same size as #1. Two sizes in one year! And silly me. I thought, if this goes well, we could just run one other place.
But that trip ended with #2 flat on her face and stomach, screaming at the checkout. She wanted something - just like always - and we didn't get it. I will rarely get what they just randomly grab. They usually get something - Hey, I'm an expert shopper. And we went to the store to get something, which was probably for them anyway. But the random "I want this" - usually never happens. So I don't know why she was surprised I said no. But there she was - FLAT on the ground. Then screaming on the way home - wanting this or that. Only stopping to squeal while we went through the car wash. Kind of for them. But I'm a total sucker for car washes! Especially the ones where you put your car in neutral! I'm easy to entertain!!
And the excitement just kept coming. #1 locked me out of the house when I was walking the dog. I think she wanted to come and was mad that I just wanted a moment outside - away from the screams (they were still going on from #2 and by this point, I don't think either of us knew what she was upset about). Thankfully I have a secret spy way into the house. So not a big deal. But a big deal indeed.
Oh and the baby. Just sitting there in his stroller for the shopping fit and then sitting there on the floor for the lockout. Just wondering what these crazy girls are doing! (Me included, I think)
So... it's only 3:00 today. Summer has barely begun. This is a long holiday weekend. These kids are going to eat me alive this summer. And I don't know if I need to get out - or stay in?!?!
Why is it that the days that you want to get out and have fun - one of those days with nice weather too - are the days that you just struggle to have fun? Maybe I should have just stayed here.
I was thinking today about why I can't get anything done. Besides the obvious "I have 3 kids four and under with me at all times" - and maybe that's a good one. But today was a great example. I got going early. And got out of the dr fast (which is weird). Then I just needed to exercise - I need it bad!! And that was fun - and child free - for a moment. Then, that's where the crazy came in. I thought - hey, let's do some fun things. And my girls do like shopping. So we went to get them some pool shoes. #2's feet are now the same size as #1. Two sizes in one year! And silly me. I thought, if this goes well, we could just run one other place.
But that trip ended with #2 flat on her face and stomach, screaming at the checkout. She wanted something - just like always - and we didn't get it. I will rarely get what they just randomly grab. They usually get something - Hey, I'm an expert shopper. And we went to the store to get something, which was probably for them anyway. But the random "I want this" - usually never happens. So I don't know why she was surprised I said no. But there she was - FLAT on the ground. Then screaming on the way home - wanting this or that. Only stopping to squeal while we went through the car wash. Kind of for them. But I'm a total sucker for car washes! Especially the ones where you put your car in neutral! I'm easy to entertain!!
And the excitement just kept coming. #1 locked me out of the house when I was walking the dog. I think she wanted to come and was mad that I just wanted a moment outside - away from the screams (they were still going on from #2 and by this point, I don't think either of us knew what she was upset about). Thankfully I have a secret spy way into the house. So not a big deal. But a big deal indeed.
Oh and the baby. Just sitting there in his stroller for the shopping fit and then sitting there on the floor for the lockout. Just wondering what these crazy girls are doing! (Me included, I think)
So... it's only 3:00 today. Summer has barely begun. This is a long holiday weekend. These kids are going to eat me alive this summer. And I don't know if I need to get out - or stay in?!?!
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Ideas vs Time
Blogging, writing, journaling... I love being creative in these ways. And I do really enjoy writing a blog. But I can't keep it up very well. It's not that I lack the passion, or the time really. Although I lead a busy unpredictable life with small children staying at home, we are just ALL busy. So really being busy isn't much of a reason that I can't blog either. I was trying to think of the reason that I can't seem to keep up the blog. Hmmm...
And what I came up with is this: I tend to do more thinking than writing. Meaning that I have these great blog ideas, and sometimes they go as far as to be kind of written in my head, but when I get to the actual writing of it, the words are gone. (Words escape me, at least the right words, on many other occasions too...)
And then there are times that I have the idea, but not the time to jot it down - then the idea is LONG gone when I do find the time. And the best one - when I have the time - and the desire to write - and there is nothing there. No ideas, no words flowing.
I do have this need for expressing creativity. And I love doing that in words. I keep personal journals - these help to empty out my brain when I am just thinking and ruminating and pondering something. These are usually just very raw - with feelings, fear, hopes, questions, joys, and even laughter. I think these help me get to know me. And also these work many times as written prayers.
I also used to write songs - mainly in high school - but I've done a few (more like poems now) recently. And when I feel a song in my brain, I just have to get it out on paper - and the pen just seems to move itself. It's an amazing feeling of creativity when a song just bursts forth from your mind.
But the blog is different. It's where I want to create something. A story, a picture, capture a memory. It's something for me to share. So here's to me finding the ideas and the time and the way back.
And what I came up with is this: I tend to do more thinking than writing. Meaning that I have these great blog ideas, and sometimes they go as far as to be kind of written in my head, but when I get to the actual writing of it, the words are gone. (Words escape me, at least the right words, on many other occasions too...)
And then there are times that I have the idea, but not the time to jot it down - then the idea is LONG gone when I do find the time. And the best one - when I have the time - and the desire to write - and there is nothing there. No ideas, no words flowing.
I do have this need for expressing creativity. And I love doing that in words. I keep personal journals - these help to empty out my brain when I am just thinking and ruminating and pondering something. These are usually just very raw - with feelings, fear, hopes, questions, joys, and even laughter. I think these help me get to know me. And also these work many times as written prayers.
I also used to write songs - mainly in high school - but I've done a few (more like poems now) recently. And when I feel a song in my brain, I just have to get it out on paper - and the pen just seems to move itself. It's an amazing feeling of creativity when a song just bursts forth from your mind.
But the blog is different. It's where I want to create something. A story, a picture, capture a memory. It's something for me to share. So here's to me finding the ideas and the time and the way back.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
National Cereal Day
Last week, Thursday was National Cereal Day. I'm always looking for interesting ways to make the days that seem to be the same thing - over and over - be something different. And maybe a little special. And fun!
And I LOVE cereal. You know the question: what food would you have on a desert island if you could have just one thing. I have always thought it would be pizza. But then I got to thinking... pizza for breakfast. As much as enjoy pizza, I would not enjoy pizza (especially cold pizza) for breakfast. So, my new "choice" is cereal. It can work for all meals, snacks - even dessert. It can be rich or chocolaty or sweet or just kind of plain. I have a weakness for an after dinner/late night bowl of cereal.
Um, so is national cereal day EVERY day at my house?
I have my very favorites, ranging from my Kashi in the morning to Lucky Charms for nighttime. And really everything in between. And I am raising some cereal-loving girls too!
This was our spread for our fun start to cereal eating day....
Then that afternoon, my oldest and I made granola...
And for dinner (it couldn't be left out of the cereal festivities)
Crispy Chex Chicken
very tasty!
And there was a little after dinner dessert Cocoa Krispies cereal!
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